experienced some

Over the course of the past few months, the leadership of various christian organizations have been struggling with how to make the idea of Unity within the Body of Christ a reality at Cornell. And thus begins the series of questions that start with, “How do we know if this is God’s will?” or, “Is what we’re doing as Christians on campus actually effective? Or are we just as good as sitting around a campfire singing kumbaya?”

What biblical evidence is there for/against unified churches?
What strengths and weaknesses do multi-ethnic churches/fellowships have against specific ones?
Is there merit at all in some sort of long-term goal in campus unity?
… if so, what does that look like?
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and over and over we go, talking, praying, trying to reason, trying to figure out, trying to… try.

And while these questions have been on my heart and mind for a while, namely since NYCUP freshman year, I still don’t have any good answers. What used to be a larger scale of church to church, city to city, is now campus to campus… fellowship to fellowship… the, slam dunk right in your face kind of conflict. Oh boy-o indeed…

older

Random thought while trying to do calculus of variations on polar coordinates in Duffield:

Over the course of the past 3-4 years, the notion of the youth-group leader superhero has quickly been shed. Of course, for some of them, I’ve learned of an honest, raw struggle with who exactly this God of the universe is, and have grown only to respect and love them more because of that — that the joyful exterior was only a reflection of the struggle to praise Him on the inside.

… unfortunately, on the flipside, there are those whom I’ve found out things about that youth group kids should not hear about. Things that in themselves aren’t not un-redeemable, but the effort to either hide or brush off have really been… outright disgusting. There are less of these type of people, but right away I can think of a spattering.

And I wonder — God calls us to love them, love you, still.
But does that mean I have to respect you?

ironic indeed

It’s safe to say now, two weeks after my initial doctor’s appointment, that throughout this whole ordeal, I have been cared for and supported throughout the many appointments to follow, shots, blood tests, medications, trips to the pharmacy, and even ER visit.

What’s ironic is that most of that support comes from people outside my fellowship (save my apt mates + the bf). My project team offers to pick up slack for work I cannot accomplish because I’m busy… the friends in my major take notes for me and give them to me when I come to class. They call whenever I skip for an appointment, or just to ask how I’m doing and feeling. My jerzey friends call and visit (multiple times) whenever I need to get more drugs, or simply to see how I am and keep me company.

….

Not at all to complain, or be judgmental, for I am eternally grateful for those who have been by my side…  I just find it exceedingly ironic that this place of supposed Body, Unity, Fellowship… I feel looked over, brushed to the side, passed by. ironic indeed…

like a beggar

Six.

That’s how many verses we got through before The Conversation happened.  Somewhere between smothering our still warm pumpkin pies with whipped cream, and flipping through Acts 3, and thinking about how Peter could have possibly stopped for this lame beggar — somewhere, some time ago, The Conversation was already brewing.

Why? Because it’s one of those conversations. The ones that sgl’s usually feel freakishly giddy and anxious about — giddy because it’ll be something they desperately have a heart for, but hard because you know, sometimes we don’t have it all figured out. (just sometimes though ;])

Because for a moment during small group, the world stopped revolving around Ithaca, NY. And the power of the Gospel, the very Word of Christ (capitals intentional) broke through and asked the question of, who are those lame beggars we pass by every day? And not just the “spiritually” impoverished, but the actual, physically, fiscally, health-wisely, impoverished.

The Conversation turned to homelessness, and poverty in China. Then it took a tangent to when to give money to the homeless, and if that’s the answer — but if not, what is? And when we do find out what that is, how do we get there? Even so, why is it different for Christians? Why should Christians care?

(… and then, The Question. In a series of like.. 23430 questions my sg blurted out to me in the period of one microsecond..)

What is the role of the Christian in matters of justice in bringing about the Kingdom of God on earth?

hehe.

At this point I actually smiled.

This is where it gets fun, kids =)

to be continued at next week’s small group… 

good fruits

sometimes, girls and boys
need to learn that
s e l f c o n t r o l
is a fruit of the spirit.

that is all =)

p.s. i hate emergency rooms =/ they’re a lot more calm that i would’ve expected.

remedy

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and i don’t know
what to do with a Love like that
and i don’t know
how to be a Love like that