because everyone deserves a new beginning.


sometimes the highlight of my day is lunch! since i have time now (and sleep >4 hours a night) i tend to make lunch instead of buying food. prominent meals have included:

– portabella mushroom risotto & slow braised chicken thigh
– garlic tilapia with steamed broccoli and homemade red potato mash
– homemade turkey sausage, zucchini and baby portabella tomato sauce baked with whole wheat penne
– chinese cabbage & chicken stir fry with rice

ahhhh. all of these with breakfast (usually oatmeal with soy milk and granola, or a toasted sourdough english muffin with peanut butter) makes for such happy moments at work :)


Tonight was the first (techncially second since I missed the first) class of Perspectives in World Missions. It’s a class recommended to me at debrief after Thailand, and something I happened to see on a church bulletin in my hopping madness to community. I’m taking it through for credit through Trinity Evangelical in Deerfield; thus, score one for the m.theo and zero for the m.eng.

I’m reminded more humbling that everything I do, save, even experience on this side of heaven is in transit and that things are simply things. For someone who spent the majority of this past summer in airports and airplanes, as a person I’m constantly in motion, moving from one to the next. Tonight, as we spent hours pouring over scripture and stott and piper, there was stillness, volume, fruitition — this is real. and it brings joy to this sojourner through the streets of los angeles.


Being here challenges me that everyday, I am a disciple of His and must not bow down to the ways of this world (both flesh and spiritual). It’s often in the small things that are most difficult… passing by spirit houses on the way to university, talking with students that have no idea whatsoever of a creator, sundays being counted as sacred only on Walk Street Bazaar. The long-term team here is amazing — one family, one couple, and three others that form an international team held in the grips of His grace on a daily basis. The love, hospitality and compassion they have for us and the students are simply mindblowing.

An unreached people group is not simply a group that has no access to the gospel… it’s a group where there are no people who know their language and culture and whom are there to speak it with them. It still doesn’t feel like I’m on m-, just that I am here… living, breathing, being, learning Thai, language, culture, Eastern… Jesus looked at the crowd and had compassion. I am praying I can do the same.

I constantly battle fear for the warfare that is here. I love doing this. It’s hard… but it brings me joy.


I’m currently at orientation for my trip this summer and in compeletely in awe of what a healer, Lord, provider, and comforter the God I serve and delight in is. See you in two months USA!

said unheard

there are only two more weeks that I’m here, fourteen days, until graduation and until new york city and until chicago and until florida and then thailand and then…. life. the days seem to be flashing before me and i’m not sure what to make of them. it’s like i’m watching a film of my own life — my own calculated responses and words to others, to myself, rising and waking and sleeping. where is there more? 

i used to feel so much more alive and open. free to live and free to let those around me be a part of my life, a part of what could affect me. there was a time when vulnerability and transparency were my favorite words and my automatic response to ‘how are you’s weren’t just ‘i’m good!’ i’m not sure exactly what changed or when it did, maybe the world and its ideals that everything needs to be exactly okay all of the time had something to do with it. a little bit.


maybe the key is to blog more. there are too many things said unheard…


If i had a Twitter, I would be currently:

– working on my last problem set for 606

– figuring out email prayer updates for the Edge

– researching thai cuisine & traditional dress

– on blackboard downloading lectures

– writing solar sailing simulation in matlab

– looking up relient k lyrics with itunes open

– checking email — gmail open in background

– in duffield.


and who said multitasking was ineffective? :P

lost in a cloud

So I’m sitting here, working on my project for one of the phd level classes i’m taking about alternatives to spacecraft propulsion through solar sailing, and I’m listening to this song about the transfiguration by sufjan stevens and thinking about how good it is that God has come near.


the last lyrics of the song:
What he said to them, 
the voice of God: the most beloved son. 
Consider what he says to you, consider what’s to come. 
The prophecy was put to death, 
was put to death, and so will the Son. 
And keep your word, disguise the vision ’till the time has come. 

Lost in the cloud, a voice. Have no fear! We draw near! 
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Turn your ear.  


It’s a sad day when I see An Extended Navier-Stokes and the Challenges of Relativistic Fluid Dynamics for Speed of Light Travel on, get excited, understand the proposal, and desire to contribute further to this topic.

Days like these I still wonder what I’m pursuing with my life. As a follower of Christ I believe that my ultimate pursuit is to glorify God and enjoy Him forevermore (WC). Yet what does that mean in a world of careers, ambitions, and goals? How does that translate to someone who is wholeheartedly implanted in the boroughs of Clark Hall where the physicists live? 

Then there’s the further question of being a woman in such fields, with conflicting desires of solving the energy crisis and taking care of (future) children. How do these desires not conflict??


Maybe it’s just the thought that I graduate in two months. May seems like a black hole from this view and I’m just sucked in… swoosh… swoosh….. gravity increases… time slows… radiation.. event horizon!!!…



pressing on

because i need to hope that God is bigger than this.




ps. I accepted a job (and turned down MIT). but, LA-bound!