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i’ll take care of you

This past weekend, one of my favorite couples got engaged!! (they just graduated from Cornell this past May). The bride-to-be is a dear friend of mine whom I’ve been walking and serving alongside of for the past 2.5 years while at school, and the groom was actually helping to lead the first small group I ever joined at GCF! So both of them are both very near and dear to my heart and I’m so so excited to see what the Lord has in plan for the both of them as a couple. What’s kind of crazy is that they’re both less than a year away from college! Sometimes it’s really that surreal how close I am to graduating and entering a very real world of work, life, and weddings yay :)


… and of course, after spending most of the day with them (and dozens of surprised yet joyful people), the first question everyone has to ask is, ‘So when are YOU getting engaged?’

forget december

I just realized this may be my last white Christmas (for a long time). I know it shouldn’t matter that much anyway, but that is quite sad! Growing up in the midwest has gotten me used to white Christmases and building snow blobs (somehow the sophistication to make actual peoples never came….) and somehow a slightly chilly Christmas in Los Angeles doesn’t sound quite as appealing right now.

If I had my way, I’d live in the northern burbs and go to Trinity part-time while flying satellites during the day and go to Cubs games on weekends (woohoo playoffs!!!). I’ve spend significant amounts of time in LA, San Diego, San Jose, NYC, Baltimore & Orlando, yet nothing is quite like… Chicawgo :)

re: senior year

I remember senior year. I spent half of the year frustrated at people, life, ministry, and church…. and the other half crawling into the throne of the King asking for wisdom, forgiveness, and a means to obey. Senior year I had some of the most magnificent fights of my being (‘Why can’t WE have 10,000?!?’) and some of the most reconciling, truth-infused relationships I’ve ever been in. Senior year I was always running around — from JETs to all the AP classes I took to finishing my 11 college apps to Yearbook to SWAVT to Lincoln and to Willowbrook. I remember senior year.

And as I start my second senior year… those same feelings come rushing back to me. Who knows, maybe it’s some sort of cyclic lessons that reinitiate every four years or something. Except I can already see one huge difference from then and now…. Then I was scared and was motivated through pleasing and finding acceptance and praise from my leaders. Now,… I am rebellious and tend to question, critique and don’t seem to really care what they think of me at all.

Such changes will surely make for a very.. very different senior year.

I miss CCMC. I wouldn’t trade my last senior year for the world.

Senior year, here we go…


Sometimes it is sufficient, just to hear a whisper and affirmation of His everlasting love for a daughter.

You are higher than the heavens, brighter than the sun
Yet You love me, still You love me

Imagine the privilege I had of listening to worshiping alongside Merchant Band a couple of years ago, basking in the glorious truth of death on a cross. After so many conversations about God and the validity of the Bible and knowing God’s presence… all these questions other interns seem to have, and it takes all of the rationale I can muster to not yell out“Do you not see His great love for you?!”

So many years after Christ first stepped into my life, yet I’m still caught in the wonder of seeing how a Father like Him could love a girl like me.

random thought of the summer

One of the coolest parts about an engineering internship is that I get the hang out with people that I would never ever have the time nor opportunity to hang out with at college. Some of skills I’m currently practicing: aggressive driving, beer pong on makeshift table, beaching without burning, and learning to love on people… amongst many others.

Currently spending the 4th of July holiday @ San Diego — remind me to blog about my freak-Intervarsity Staff run-in this past weekend. And long-conversation with ST!

party with jesus

I must confess I have been rather lacking in keeping up with this blog, save random thoughts that have managed to be published throughout this past semester. There actually have been moments where I think, “Wow, I should totally blog about this later…” but alas, time has gotten the best of me…

A brief summary, then maybe I’ll retro-post a couple of thoughts & events from this past semester =)

Highlights of Spring ’08 —

1. Reconciliation. There’s no better word to describe my spring. Being reconciled with one another in the Body, with Christ as I’m starting to learn finally what it means to simply be His and not His slave in ministry.

2. BEING in a small group! Prior to this semester, I have been leading sg non-stop (whether at home or at school) since I’ve been a junior in high school. What joy and blessings it has been to wrestle with my own pride of being a ‘good leader’ and submitting to His authority and control.

3. Satellites. Potential launch in the summer = a LOT of work this semester! But being able to see how secular leadership really parallels servanthood, and getting to know the others on my team and reaching out… completely worth it.

4. Prayer! Being involved in prayer ministry once again and leading Monday prayer meetings, challenging and being challenged into what it means to pray boldly and expectantly for our campus and our lives, and trying not to hide in AT 123 behind closed doors at prayer meeting :P

5. Ivy League Congress. Sounds a little snobby, but was really a great way to open my eyes to the presence of missions in the classroom and job force. Also super cool just to get away for a weekend at Yale :D

6. Basileia. Kingdom come… took Prayer Track — a little heebie at first, but in the end I really enjoyed it. Learning discipline that worship nor prayer is a spiritual/emotional high then plunge, but rather a constant of being attached to His vine. Thoughts of staff (eek!) and really beginning to pray for calling and wisdom in the last year of college. It’s crazy knowing that in one year, I could be working at Boeing again — or prepping to do my Master’s degree — or raising support for staff!

But anyway.. I’ll def. elaborate on each of those throughout the summer =) Things to look forward to!

1. Newsong Conference yay!

2. Soobs and Mike’s wedding this weekend.

3. Wed. night’s frisbee.. just like the midwestern days =)

4. Pinkberry.

5. jj coming to visit! :D

to write love

three+ years ago, you told me about the scars on your arms. the results of nights of despair, of hopelessness,… nights where the dawn seemed too far away.

since then, i’ve seen the evidence on others. the prom queen whom everyone thinks ‘has it all.’ the cool photography major who always seems to wear long sleeves,… even in the summer. it’s seen that 20% of all teens will suffer from depression at some time before they reach adulthood.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she’s known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.

– excerpt from to write love on her arms.

…this is rescue
go and do likewise.