one week

One week ago, it was still.
There are a million and one things I should be taking care of right now. Studying for tonight’s exam. Doing my quantum problem set. Taking care of the document for my project team. This and this and all of these urgents that really aren’t important in the long run. Packing for Ivy League Congress…. maybe a little more important.

This was how it was before CUP, I remember. A heart confused and tattered, mostly through masochism. Windstruck and thoughts of what could have been and what was lost and what I didn’t have. Into the next day with my mask pulled on, only to see Daddy cares about my fragile heart more than what VBS I could do.

What is to come? What does the future bring? I stare into May and June and July and 2009 hesitantly. God on my side? Always,… is that enough for you? Am i enough for You?

My flesh and heart may fail,…. yet I still try to do it on my own.
Dad,… please give me the strength to see the light of tomorrow.

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